tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4531506767067177426.post7856473621772487851..comments2023-10-14T06:20:18.326-04:00Comments on fat in nyc: The Debating Society Inside my Headnycivanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06859320328941470255noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4531506767067177426.post-62616649524078518052009-11-12T21:52:34.426-05:002009-11-12T21:52:34.426-05:00I struggle with this as well. I am reaching out fo...I struggle with this as well. I am reaching out for self acceptance but I am not sure if my family will willingly accept the idea that my happiness is more important than a weight loss obsession. <br /><br />The way I see it is the idea of WELLNESS that was preached at me in health classes. Wellness is not just about eating carrots and hitting the pavement. It's social, environmental, spiritual, emotional, and mental. How can you be happy if you're constantly thinking about what you CAN'T do, what you HAVE to do just to be thin? If you are one of those people who have an emotional connection to food, then stressing out over food isn't going to get any better. <br />I want to be well. I want to be healthy, and so I try to exercise when I can and when I feel like movement, but I do not beat myself up if I can't. <br />I try to eat more vegetables and fruit because I know it's something that my body needs, but I don't say no to the cheese and potatoes that I CRAVE.<br />I give myself what I want and what my body needs but I never stress about it.<br />If weight loss happens to come a long because I am living a happy, healthy life than so be it. <br />I personally WOULD like to lose some of my weight and at times actively work towards it, but I see it as a personal choice because I don't feel comfortable at the size I am.One Body to Love.https://www.blogger.com/profile/05790617387287799447noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4531506767067177426.post-4287371351587343132009-10-25T06:29:16.672-04:002009-10-25T06:29:16.672-04:00Kate: It sounds like you are advocating a Health A...Kate: It sounds like you are advocating a Health At Every Size approach (HAES) which is fine to talk about in the Fatosphere even though not everyone is going to agree with you ; ) HAES is not focused on weight loss so it is an 'approved' topic. <br /><br />Ivan: Personally I know I am living the life I want to live. There is nothing I want to do that I can't do right now with the body I have right now. It is not my body stopping me doing things, money maybe, time maybe, family responsibilities maybe but not my body. If I wanted to climb mountains or whatever, then maybe I would feel differently but I am not that sort of person. Maybe I became a 'not particularly physical' kid of person because I was a fat child. Maybe it was because I was teased for being fat as a little girl even though in reality I was just taller than the other waif like girls in my class and so I didnt join in with their games and so ended up liking reading etc more than sports. But either way, it is irrelevant now. I am me, I enjoy photography, reading, writing etc and my weight has no bearing on those things.Brihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05845481445147062369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4531506767067177426.post-91919476943566471252009-10-22T20:01:50.853-04:002009-10-22T20:01:50.853-04:00Kate,,, hallelujah!!! sane, non threatening, sob...Kate,,, hallelujah!!! sane, non threatening, sober talk about exercise.!!!! yay. I have been toying with the idea of the pool, getting a waterproof ipod and walking. I found some movement that I love... see this post http://fatinnyc.blogspot.com/2009/09/fat-salsa-dancing.html and I agree about building muscle. Unfortunately finding the motivation to exercise has not happened for me yet, however, I still welcome respectful good intentioned discussion about it. cheers!!!nycivanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06859320328941470255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4531506767067177426.post-20216328978126191902009-10-22T04:36:58.201-04:002009-10-22T04:36:58.201-04:00Thanks living400lbs for that comment. I'm also...Thanks living400lbs for that comment. I'm also nervous to address issues like "healthy" eating and exercise in the Fat-o-sphere because we've all had the concepts shoved down our throats for years. And frankly, most of what we were "informed" of was incorrect. <br /><br />Remember Pritikin? I have 3 friends who did Pritikin in the 80s and now don't have gallbladders. The doctors explained that because they'd removed fat completely from their diets their gallbladders ceased working properly. So much for the "healthy" lifestyle.<br /><br />I became a convert to exercise after the University of Qld trialled Yoga on Vietnam Veterans. The results were outstanding and the boys were off all medications within 2 months.<br /><br />We're big people, we need to strengthen our muscles to support our weight. No judgment, just a fact. And plus, nothing looks sexier than a curvy plus-sized body moving to Yoga ;-)Kenmore Bookclubhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06962328831509903008noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4531506767067177426.post-17902798519369040472009-10-22T01:01:06.789-04:002009-10-22T01:01:06.789-04:00Kate - One of the reasons I exercise is to allevia...Kate - One of the reasons I exercise is to alleviate depression. (It's also a major reason why I make sure I generally get enough sleep.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4531506767067177426.post-58366800477294879582009-10-22T00:20:53.997-04:002009-10-22T00:20:53.997-04:00P.S. I know that some people in the FA Sphere migh...P.S. I know that some people in the FA Sphere might have a problem with me suggesting exercise here so let me just add that I don't see the exercise should be the domain of the skinny weight loss enthusiasts.<br /><br />I know a lot of people suffering with depression who have had amazing results through yoga and gym workouts. I know that I always feel better able to confront the fat-haterz once I've left the gym.<br /><br /><br />My 2 cents worth.<br /><br />Kate FKenmore Bookclubhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06962328831509903008noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4531506767067177426.post-28100853681789624052009-10-22T00:14:29.759-04:002009-10-22T00:14:29.759-04:00I never resolved the "weight" issue with...I never resolved the "weight" issue with my father. He died from cancer 10 years ago and spent the last 2 weeks of life berating me about over-eating. For the record, I was breast-feeding my 1st child at the time and my "over-eating" was eating one-and-a-half small toasted cheese and ham sandwiches.<br /><br /><br /><br />2 years earlier before that I remember crying, trying to get him to understand that he was the only one who had a problem with my enormousness (I was 200 pounds and a size 14 at the time). <br /><br />I then yelled at him "so ... you want two children with eating disorders then?" as my younger sister was anorexic and taking drugs to kill her appetite.<br /><br />I still cannot see that eating 1 1/2 sandwiches when you're breastfeeding is "overeating" and it goes to show that other people's perspectives of you aren't always accurate.<br /><br />That your sister said what she did is very manipulative and cruel. She might be operating from a mindset that she has bought into the weight-loss=health argument and she is frightened for you, but to behave in the way that she has does not suggest that to be the case.<br /><br />Having said all that, I am a death-fattie myself who worries about eating "healthily" and still freaks out about not getting to the gym. But I really do enjoy the endorphin rush.<br /><br />Find yourself a fat-friendly gym that doesn't push the weight-loss agenda and you will find that the exercise is amazing for your mental strength and emotional stability (better than any anti-depressant I've tried). <br /><br />It's useless for weight loss (how ironic that I've gained 14 kilos since joining the gym!) but it not about weight loss, it allows me to work out all my frustration with the non-FA people in my life.<br /><br />As for your family, if they don't come around then make yourself a new family with people who love and accept the wonderfulness of you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE RIGHT NOW!<br /><br />All the best<br /><br />Kate FKenmore Bookclubhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06962328831509903008noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4531506767067177426.post-49929410372775098212009-10-21T21:04:46.203-04:002009-10-21T21:04:46.203-04:00living400lbs- Ya, I think breaking that 40 number...living400lbs- Ya, I think breaking that 40 number helps with letting go of a lot of family stuff that used to lord over me.. desds-Agreed, that the family no talk boundaries aren't ideal, but at least they facilitate a space for us to spend time together.nycivanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06859320328941470255noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4531506767067177426.post-72670631512934481662009-10-21T20:33:00.443-04:002009-10-21T20:33:00.443-04:00Good post Ivan! I definitely understand where you ...Good post Ivan! I definitely understand where you are coming from in terms of family and friends. It's really difficult to have a healthy relationship with them when they are constantly pushing their anti-fat ideas on you. I don't discuss weight/size with my family either and even thought its not the ideal situation it will do for now. Hopefully one day they'll come around, but if they don't I'm prepared to accept that too.<br />:DAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4531506767067177426.post-77857990049650900532009-10-21T20:30:42.782-04:002009-10-21T20:30:42.782-04:00I have in the past thought I had less of a life. N...I have in the past thought I had less of a life. Now, not really. I think it's partly about growing in my profession, having good friends, having had good and bad relationships, and having a good relationship now. It may also be partly that I'm over 40 ;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com