I am between 5'7" and 5'8" depending on who is measuring. The last weigh in a few months ago was 380.
I am involved in the Fat Acceptance Community because I had lead a miserable, unhappy life which I believed stemmed from me being fat. In a pursuit of family, society and sadly my own approval I felt unworthy of romantic love because I bought into the norm that fat is bad and evil, hence by extension so was I.
My male privilege, which I didn't know about until pointed out for me at Shapely Prose made my fat life easier than my fat sisters. I allow that I may not fully understand the harder time that fat woman have in our culture. I can speak personally to the stigma I have felt primarily from the opposite sex. Maybe it was all just a confidence thing. But my lack of confidence and self esteem when it came to the opposite sex was all about my weight. I do now see that probably it was my lack of confidence, not my actual weight that was in my way with the ladies. That being said, there is a lot of anti fat bias out there in the dating world and women are not the only victims of it. check out the comments here http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-would-you-marry-a-man-who-is-morbidly-obese/?cnn=yes
I was quite an unhappy puppy. When I came into the FA community the first thing that was apparent to me was that there are not a lot of fat guys around talking about the struggles of being a fat guy. In fact, I couldn't find any. I did get the message very early that fat women have it harder than men. Honestly, it seemed a little dismissive of my experience as a fat man. I respect women and I do not want to offend the feminist fat women, but I probably do and am grateful to those willing to point out when I trespass and perhaps offend. Honestly, am I allowed to plead ignorance? I always get a little nervous about being misunderstood when talking about this. But is seems that there are only women to talk to in FA (and males that admire fat women)
I think there are many fat guys around that have a lot in common and can add a lot to the community and I am not sure why they are so hard to find. I went to the Naffa convention and as far as I could tell I was one of three guys there that Identified as a fat man. Three ???? WTF?
Could it be that guys don't want to be vulnerable? Could it be that they have transcended the limiting beliefs that society has about fat and I am the only fat guy feeling the heat? Could I be one of the only guys that wonders about the stigma that fat boys face growing up? Having been the target of so much fat hate growing up (oh by the way, I wasn't that fat, not that the way I was treated by family and society would have me believe) But I was always "trying" to lose weight.
I am finally connecting with my own sense of worthiness. I am finally seeing that the only opinion that matters is mine.
This is the gift that the FA community has given me. I will always be grateful for that.
So any other FAT Guys out there that wanna stop lurking? Imagine what the combined voices of several Fat men speaking to fat acceptance and health at any size could do for each other and the new guys investigating what our community has to offer.
I am not looking to move any mountains. I would just like to have one or two guys that understand the nuances of reclaiming a sense of worthiness after leading a life apologetically for being what I am…. Fat.
No More Apologies!!!
Fat FAt fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat..
I am fat!!!!!!!!!!!! I am fat!!!!!!!
I am a man!!!
and I need to say to any and all who think there is something wrong with me..….
FUCK OFF!!! FUCK YOU!!! AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FUCKING WAY!!! (BITCH SLAPS ALL FAT HATERS)
that felt good.