Monday, January 10, 2011

I've been following a conversation over at Silentbeeps blog about friends that know about our fat acceptance activities who make fat phobic comments.

Today when I saw my mother she said something to the effect of, “that's a really nice shirt it makes you look thinner.”

We had an interesting conversation about how her comment supports the stigma. She politely listened and offered her own defensiveness which is par for the course when discussing this with my mom. I wasn't particularly upset or angry or irritated. I just found it interesting to note that making one look's appear to be thinner is equated with good thing.

I know this basic 101 stuff, however, I'm glad that I was able to recognize it for what it was without having to get upset or irritated.

It's a nice shirt, period.


  1. Fantastic! I think it's such a brave thing to have even the slightest FA leaning convo with one's closest relatives. It's not something I've done yet, but working towards. So, I am in awe of you for that.
    While I can and have had similar discussions with my friends (who to me are closer than family), it's rarely easy, but so worth it.
    Thank you for sharing this. More people need to hear it!

  2. Having those conversations is never easy. But just attempting it makes a difference. I can't count the number of times I've had to push at a friendship (the only family member I'm in contact with is very fat positive, so I don't have the issue there) by gently but firmly challenging a statement or question that has fat stigma attached to it. Some times we get through, some times we don't. But going there is the important bit.